Doomsday: Don’t Go See It Even if It’s the Last Movie on Earth
As the editor of a post-apocalyptic anthology and someone who is generally considered to be something of an expert on the subject, I feel it is my duty to provide this public service announcement in regard to the recently released film Doomsday. It is, quite simply, one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen.
Here’s a quick synopsis, in case you’re not familiar with it already: There’s a massive plague in England, which is contained by sealing off Scotland along Hadrian’s Wall. Thirty years later, the virus starts showing up in the rest of England, so a team is sent into the quarantine zone to search for a cure among the survivors.
Okay, but here’s the thing. Almost nothing that happens in the movie makes sense. None of the SF elements are thought out at all. There’s tons of cliches such as the idiotic post-apocalyptic biker punk society that arises inside the quarantine zone, who for some reason turn to cannibalism even though there are, inexplicably, so many cows wandering around that when the "outside" team enters the quarantine zone they run them over with their tanks. It’s like director Neil Marshall surveyed all of post-apocalyptic fiction and film, took all of the worst elements from each of them and threw them into this movie.
It’s just absolutely abysmal. You just might find yourself wishing the end of the world would come just so you wouldn’t have to sit through another second of this pathetic excuse for a movie.
Trust me: Don’t waste your money. Hell, don’t even go if you get in for free–life’s too short.
Carl V.
9:45 am Mar-25-2008So tell us how you really feel! ;) Thanks for the warning, although the fact that it was relegated to this movie dumpster time of year didn’t speak well of it in the first place. Let’s hope someone does post-apocalyptic right in the near future.
Scott Marlowe
10:04 am Mar-25-2008I hadn’t even heard of that movie, but I’ll stay clear. Or I’ll laugh at it (briefly, before changing channels) when it hits sci-fi channel.
Ed
5:59 pm Mar-25-2008Wow, i was really hoping that would be a good movie, being a fan of end of the world stuff.
Scott
9:27 am Mar-27-2008I haven’t seen this yet, and won’t now… but worst movie ever? Did you see THE CORE?
John Joseph Adams
12:42 pm Mar-27-2008I haven’t seen THE CORE, actually, because of how bad I heard it was. But I didn’t say DOOMSDAY was the worst ever, just ONE OF the worst ever. For instance, I think BATTLEFIELD EARTH is probably still worse.
Scott
1:03 pm Mar-27-2008Oh, God. Thanks for reminding me of THAT.
Alex
9:53 am Mar-28-2008John – didn’t you appreciate any of the satire? I thought it was pretty clearly a Scary Movie/Epic Movie style parody, with the jokes deliberately extracted. The whole movie is one long visual nod to not just to road warrior/escape from NY but also Pulp Fiction, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, The Warriors, Omega Man, Gladiator, and on and on.
And some of it is just so hilariously ridiculous you know that the filmmakers were messing with us. The cannibals practice ceremonial cannibalism while listening to The Fine Young Cannibals? Every fight ends with a decapitation – every car crash ends with an explosion, except the one where the car went of the cliff and we were expecting it and explosion and instead it crumples into the beach (a friend observed that the only thing that would have made that scene funnier was if a trout had jumped out of the water and onto the hood) And just when you think ok, they’ve exhausted the post apocalyptic car-wars mad-max angle they go into a tunnel and come out on the other side to confront nights in shining armor and a bad guy with a trained hawk. A hawk!
I thought it was brilliant fun, especially after a few beers and in a theater that wasn’t afraid to talk back to the screen.
John Joseph Adams
5:54 pm Mar-28-2008I think you might be giving Marshall too much credit. I don’t think it was supposed to be a parody. And it didn’t feel so much as a long visual nod as it felt like it was just cobbling together parts of certain movies with no original thought being put into the mix.
We’ll just have to agree to disagree. There’s no convincing me it has any merit!