EXCERPT: Bring About the Halloween Eternal!!! by Seanan McGuire

Seanan McGuire is an avowed Halloween Girl, and was among the first to back this project, thus proving that she knows what side of the patch to plant her pumpkins in. She is also the author of a great many books, and a frequent guest at Disney’s Haunted Mansion, where she hopes to one day take up permanent residence. Stranger things have happened. Keep up with her at www.seananmcguire.com.


Funded! This project was successfully funded on Sep 30.


Pledged of $200,000

seconds to go

Restore Halloween to its rightful glory, and prove that ours is the most sincere holiday!

Project Description

Do you love Halloween? Who doesn’t! Costumes and candy, the sweet smell of autumn leaves and burning pumpkin flesh . . . Halloween is the holiday for everyone. You’re never too old to love that one perfect night, when every stranger’s door is open to you, and every face you see bears a monster’s beautiful scowl.

Sadly, Halloween is under assault. The last several years have seen the forces of Christmas conducting a little-remarked but merciless war upon the other holidays. A shopping season which once began after the Thanksgiving Day Parade—and not a second sooner—now starts gathering steam before the Back to School supplies are off the shelves. This past year, the Halloween merchandise was cleared from stores before October 15th! Yes! The hated folly of the holly jolly Christmas army has been gaining ground. It seems inevitable that all other holidays will be chased from the calendar, resulting in an unending Yuletide season. A failure to back this project is as good as backing the conquest of Santa and his elves: through inaction, you will fund their winter wonderland, and you will deserve every peppermint horror that is visited upon your trembling, frostbitten form.


The stars are in alignment, and the forces of the autumntide have been gathered for one last push against the encroaching winter. We have uncovered the ritual that will embody the spirit of Halloween in a properly prepared vessel, allowing our Lord to walk the Earth on terrible scarecrow feet, to look upon the sky with a terrible pumpkin grin, and most importantly, to freeze the passage of time and spread the embrace of a sweet October night across the globe, plunging us into the depths of the Halloween eternal. (Note that this ritual is being performed in a climate where freezing temperatures on Halloween are perishingly unlikely; it may be chilly, but no one’s going to die of exposure if they just keep their costumes on. Which will be easy, once the transformation of the populace begins. You’d need a flensing knife to take them off.)

Please be aware as you donate that the forces of Christmas are running their own, competing campaign, aimed at preventing us from bringing the glory of the corn and the candle and the freely-flowing candy to the people of the world. WE NOT ONLY NEED TO MAKE OUR GOAL—WE NEED TO BEAT THEM. We need to destroy them. We need to show that TRUE generosity isn’t about cheap wrapping paper and teenagers dressed like elves and shitty presents from your Aunt Jill that you’re just going to re-gift ANYWAY. True generosity is about free candy from strangers, sometimes with bonus razorblades (and those are expensive!). It’s about the freedom to be anybody you want to be for a night—and it’s about extending that night from here into eternity.

We are asking for $200,000 to save the best night the world has ever known. That’s a lot from one person, but Halloween has always been a pioneer of crowdfunding, filling pillowcases with candy one piece at a time. All we need is for the population of a city to each donate the cost of a candy bar. Given the numbers of people who fill the streets every Halloween night, this is a small request.

Halloween has one last chance to take back what was rightfully ours from the beginning. Help us. Help us bring about the Halloween that never ends.



Read the rest in HELP FUND MY ROBOT ARMY!!! and Other Improbable Crowdfunding Projects!