EXCERPT: Kismet™ by Daniel H. Wilson

Daniel H. Wilson is a New York Times bestselling author. He has written eight books, including the bestselling Robopocalypse and its sequel Robogenesis, as well as other titles including Amped, How to Survive A Robot Uprising, and A Boy and His Bot. He is also co-editor, with John Joseph Adams, of the anthology Robot Uprisings. He earned a PhD in robotics from Carnegie Mellon University, where he also received master’s degrees in robotics and artificial intelligence. He lives and writes in Portland, Oregon. Find him on Twitter @danielwilsonPDX.

KISMET™


Funded! This project was successfully funded on August 7.


357,216
Backers

$17,900,000,000
pledged of $15,000,000,000

0
seconds to go

The KISMET™ device from LIFE! corporation will streamline your day-to-day decision making and transform you into a better version of yourself!

Project Goals

KISMET™ is a revolutionary new product that will leverage the billions of dollars of research and development that the LIFE! corporation has already invested into general artificial intelligence, mobile localization, environment mapping, speech and face recognition, emotion shaping, social profiling, and targeted life-vertizing™. Our ultimate goal is nothing less than the complete reinvention of the modern economy by managing and streamlining the complex purchasing decisions that cause human beings so much strife and anxiety.

Our goal is to MAXIMIZE HAPPINESS, and you can help!

The KISMET™ mobile platform is your assistant, your teacher, and your best friend. Worn like a contact lens, this always-on device will stream a constant flow of sensory data (including sights and sounds) to our cloud-based servers. With this stream of seemingly mundane information, our massive processors will extract valuable information about the patterns and decisions in your life, cross-checking the data against millions of other users, and providing you with optimal answers to the thousands of niggling questions that trouble your day. Questions like:

  • What should I buy?
  • Can I really afford that?
  • Would it impress my friends?
  • How much better would my life be if I owned a boat?
  • Do these jeans really make my butt look as good as I’m thinking they do?

There is no doubt that KISMET™ is going to optimize your life . . . but only if you are willing to lend your unconditional support to creating the future of your dreams!

About Us

Ten years ago, our company made the bold decision to change its name from [redacted]. We felt that our former moniker no longer reflected the company’s total commitment to improving the lives of every person, in every place, at every moment. Indeed, our technological innovations had transcended antiquated notions of business, government, and religion. Our corporate mission had evolved beyond simply providing a service in exchange for money, to a point where we were seeking to interact with consumers in all aspects of their lives.

But the question remained: What could we call ourselves? Well, it turned out there was only one name that we could honestly call ourselves . . .

LIFE!
Incorporated!

LIFE! Incorporated isn’t asking for much – just your complete loyalty and faithfulness to a daring new product, nay, friend, who will carefully guide your purchasing behaviors in order to transform you from a wildly inconsistent and flawed person into a stylishly dressed, connected, brand-informed, and potentially boat-owning member of a new Utopian capitalist society.

Please allow us to share with you exactly how we plan to do it . . .

 


~ END EXCERPT ~

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