Author Archive

What I Watch on TV

SF Signal asks: What do you watch on TV?

Okay, well, I watch a lot of TV.

Here’s a list of shows that I regularly watch (in no particular order):

  • Survivor
  • The Amazing Race
  • Rescue Me
  • Battlestar Galactica
  • Lost
  • Friday Night Lights
  • The Shield
  • The Colbert Report
  • The Daily Show
  • 30 Rock
  • The Office
  • Beauty and the Geek
  • Family Guy
  • The Simpsons
  • ER
  • Jericho
  • Engineering an Empire
  • Digging for the Truth
  • Ancient Discoveries
  • Lost Worlds
  • Robot Chicken
  • Mythbusters
  • Entourage
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm
  • The Wire
  • Big Love
  • Flight of the Conchords
  • John From Cincinnati
  • Extras
  • Brotherhood
  • Dexter
  • Weeds
  • Penn & Teller: Bullshit!
  • Oakland Raiders football
  • Orlando Magic basketball

Additionally, here are the new shows I’ve watched and am currently watching, but am unsure if they’ll remain in the rotation until I view more episodes:

  • Pushing Daisies
  • Chuck
  • Reaper
  • Journeyman

There’s also a few new shows that I’ve Tivoed but haven’t watched yet, so there might be yet even more to add to the big list. (Incidentally, all of this stuff is time-shifted–I record everything on one of my DVRs to watch when I want to, and skip past commercials.)

I’ve purposely not listed shows that are no longer on the air, though I didn’t intentionally exclude anything that’s not on right now (in other words, if it’s an active show, and I watch it, I listed it). It’s possible I’ve forgotten some. It’s hard to keep track with there being so many!

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A Customer Service Conversation

Me: So, I noticed that compared to the iPhone you guys are kind of screwing me on my cell phone’s data package. You guys are charging me like $45 more per month for essentially the same services.

CS: Ha ha! We own you for another year, motherfucker!

Me: Um, okay. Is there any way to cancel early?

CS: Cancel? Sure, but there’s an early termination fee.

Me: How much?

CS: One soul per line.

Me: I see. So basically, even though a new competitor has emerged into the marketplace with a superior product with more affordable service plans, you guys aren’t going to do anything to try and compete. You’re just going to continue screwing me for another year, even though you’re going to have no hope in hell of retaining me as a customer.

CS: Yep! Anything else I can help you with today?

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links for 2007-10-08

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And I don’t even have the excuse of being undead…

I’m still banging my head against the desk as a result of something very stupid I did earlier today. I was working on assembling my preliminary table of contents for the zombie anthology and inadvertently lost a bunch of data.

I’ve got a spreadsheet setup in Excel, which listed title, author, original publication, and word count. I wanted to add another column for year of publication, so I could see the range of the age of the stories on my shortlist. In doing so, I attempted to move a column as I added the new one…and somehow deleted the word count column…and didn’t notice until like an hour later, at which point it was way too late to undo that mistake.

ARGH! (Note that’s the cry of anguish, not the piratesque Arrr!) Of all the columns of data to lose, that’s absolutely the worst one. Any of the others would have been super easy to fix (except maybe for title), but word count…gah. That’s one of the most time-consuming sort of administrative activities associated with putting together a reprint anthology. I am not looking forward to starting over from scratch. And all indications are that there’s no way to recover that data from some autosaved file hidden on my hard drive somewhere.

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links for 2007-10-07

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Win Free Books!

F&SF regular Matthew Hughes is giving away 53 copies of his books. To win, all you have to do is blog about him and link back to his website. Here are the rules:

Write a blog post about my work, or post a review or a commentary on a bbs, webzine or Usenet newsgroup where books and/or short stories — not necessarily science fiction and fantasy — are discussed. Include a link to my web page.

You don’t have to be laudatory, although a scathing denunciation of my very existence may disqualify you from receiving a prize. You don’t need to write a thousand words, although I’d prefer more than a dozen. If you haven’t read my works, there are plenty of samples on this web page. Take fifteen minutes to read some of them, then write up your impressions.

Send me an e-mail at mhughes–at–mars.ark.com (substituting “@” for “–at–“. For the subject heading, put “53,” and in the body of the e-mail, include the URL for your post and a North American mailing address. I will verify the URL then send you a response to let you know that your entry has been received.

The first fifty-three people to send me qualifying e-mails will receive signed copies of one of my works. Most of them will get trade paperbacks of Majestrum or hardcovers of The Spiral Labyrinth, because Night Shade is about to send me several boxes of those titles. Ten or so will receive one of the Payseur & Schmidt limited-edition chapbooks of “The Farouche Assemblage,” a Luff Imbry novelette.

Three of the entries, drawn at random, will receive one of the limited editions of Majestrum, The Spiral Labyrinth, or The Gist Hunter & Other Stories, my 2005 short story collection from Night Shade.

There may be a few weeks turn-around time before the books get sent out; I have to wait for them to arrive from Night Shade. But people have already begun to receive pre-ordered copies of The Spiral Labyrinth, so mine should be here soon.

Link

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F&SF Sept. 2007: Favorite Story Poll

F&SF 9/07: Favorite Story Poll
Voting Has Closed

  • Wrong Number – Alexander Jablokov
    3–5% of all votes
  • Episode Seven… – John Langan
    8–14% of all votes
  • The Merchant and the Alchemist’s Gate – Ted Chiang
    34–60% of all votes- Winner!
  • Envoy Extraordinary – Albert E. Cowdrey
    1–2% of all votes
  • Atalanta Loses at the Interpantheonic Trivia Bee – Heather Lindsley
    4–7% of all votes
  • Requirements for the Mythology Merit Badge – Kevin N. Haw
    4–7% of all votes
  • If We Can Save Just One Child… – Robert Reed
    1–2% of all votes
  • I wasn’t impressed with any of them.
    2–4% of all votes

Total Votes: 57 Started: October 7, 2007

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Post-Apocalyptic Tests

Take OK Cupid’s Apocalypse Survival Test and see if you have what it takes to prosper after Armageddon.

Although I edited Wastelands and thus have seriously studied post-apocalyptic literature, my chances of survival are not good; in the four variables tracked, here’s how I scored–

Preparedness: 54%, City Skills: 28%, Survival Skills: 23%, Nature Skills: 0%

After you determine your likelihood to survive, you’re ready to move onto Quizilla’s Post-Apocalyptic Self test, which reveals what sort of mutant or marauder you’ll be. I scored, appropriately, as a “Wasteland Warrior.”

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Article: It Came From the Slush Pile

Once upon a time, on a dark and stormy night, on my way home from the editorial offices of F&SF, I stumbled across a lovely brass lamp in a mysterious shop. I bought it for a song, only to come home and discover it had a nasty blemish.

Starting to sound familiar yet? Or do you need some more?

I took out a rag and some polish and tried shining it up. Much to my surprise, a genie sprung from the lamp and offered me three wishes. Fed up after a long day of slushing, I blurted out, without thinking, “I wish I never had to listen to another slush writer complain about fast rejections! I wish that I never had to explain the “code” of my rejection letter! And I wish that I never had to see another poorly formatted manuscript ever again!” The genie said “Your wish is my command,” and struck me deaf, dumb, and blind.

Does it sound familiar now? Wait, here’s the kicker:

At just that moment I woke up and realized it was all a dream.

Groaning yet?

(more…)

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Article: Basic Training for Writers

Writers choosing to specialize in writing science fiction, fantasy, and horror have a number of opportunities to study with luminaries in the field by participating in writers’ workshops. These workshops are in-depth examinations of a writer’s strengths and weaknesses, and force students to both write and critique the work of others a great deal. This provides for a rather intense experience, which is why this sort of workshop is often referred to as a “writer’s boot camp.”
(more…)

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